so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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