I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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