Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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