So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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