Four minutes until I can fart!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He has the fingertips of a God
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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