Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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