i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize