All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize