I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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