is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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