oh god the rape fog is back!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize