Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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