Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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