So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
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He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
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Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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