Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize