you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize