If you want to fuck random people, why even have a girlfriend? Then you can fuck all the sluts on this page that thought this was funny, and let your girl move on to someone that's not a piece of trash.
i bet his gf is reading this text right now, being like hmmm that's MY area code and then remembering that her scumbag boyfriend brought a 18 pack of coors light to her place this morning. and now she is vomitting realizing that she basically licked some nasty girls vag by sucking his dick.
People cheat. It's usually easy to tell. Who cares? If you catch your man cheating, act like you don't know, go to give him head, and punch him in the sack when he least expects it. If you catch your girl cheating, act like you don't know, go to eat her out, and headbut her in the pussy when she least expects it. (I've Zidaned a girls pussy before. It feels great to do.) Make cheating fucks pay.
I can't believe so many people think this is a good thing. Sometimes this site - albeit its hilariousness - really reduces my faith in humanity.
And I really don't understand why people are blaming the guy's girlfriend. He cheats, so she must be doing something wrong? Yeah, right. Stop trying to justify your lousy actions, guys.
You know some people do put a diff area code.. I would say especially if it's from an asshole like this. Fine, you're a god if you did this with two random chicks but you did it with a random and your GIRLFRIEND - who thinks you are faithful. That's fucked.
yeah, what a fucking douchebag he must be.... "best day ever" my ass... why do people take pride in cheating on someone they're in a relationship with?
oh well... i just don't know why he takes in pride in it, rather than feeling bad about it.
I hope that you have a daughter some day and she finds a man as classy as you and to be treated just like her daddy treated all the women in his life.......because men like you deserve the worst.
you disgust me. One day, you'll wake up and wonder why the 'woman of your dreams' doesn't trust you. I hope you remember this moment and then realize you FUCKED UP and live alone the rest of your life.
how about nobody should get a pat on the back for promiscuous sex? just a thought. i'm all for killing double standards, but girls should pick their battles, fighting for getting equal praise for fucking around should not be one of those battles...
it really really makes me disappointed that people, mainly boys, are applauding & defending this pathetic, selfish excuse for a man - who feels the need to disrespect his girlfriend and then brag about it to his friends to justify himself as a "real man" or a "player".
It's depressing that the American man defends this awful behavior.
Really 7:28? It looks to me like he had a simple typo. Hit the "d" key before the "e" key again. He's an ass but calling someone out on typos is just stupid. Not superior. Nice try though hun.
Reading this makes me lose faith in relationships.
You're nasty cheating scum, frankly.
Don't think the fact that you're going to end up alone and infected is something to brag about.
To all the women who say they don't have to worry about their men cheating cause they're so ammazing, fuck you and I hope he cheats on you so you can quit being so damn smug.
Guys don't cheat because of the girl they're with. They cheat because they're insecure and feel the need to prove something to themselves.
To everyone saying this isn't possible. I fucked my girl, we had a huge fight after because she was PMSing. I pass out at my place. Get woken up the next day by another girl calling asking if I want to go out. Got wasted all day, made out, PG stuff, and just passed out in her place. Got head the next morning. So this guy's situation but with the girls flipped.
Fuck off 7:49. I find it funny when guys do this to loser ass bitches like you. I keep my men happy, they don't need to get it elsewhere. It is funny and you do deserve it. If you can't keep your men happy that's what you get.
I've never cheated on my wife and I would never treat her this way. You boys need to grow up. Oh and also, if you're having sex with someone you don't think is as smart as you, you're just showing how low you think of yourself.
6:40 #3 is so obviously a man playing out a little cyber fantasy.
whatever happened to being a good person and finding fellow good people? guess I'm just another hippie.... but karma is real, so homeboy better make some amends.
6:58pm, not all women have small brains. i got a 35 on my ACT. my boyfriend got a 19. i have a master's and am continuing for my PhD. he has a bachelor's.
ima gurl nd i luv cock hahahaha!
...
Goddamnit, you people all sound like idiots. I'm pretty sure everyone who begins their sentence with "I'm a girl and..." is actually a chubby 12 or 13 year old boy who has never seen a real pair of breasts besides his mother's.
i think its funny...but i wouldnt want it happening to me. despite the cheating... the funniest shit is that he stole that girls beer and took it to his girl friend. hes got somewhat of a heart after all!
bravo, fello, bravo.
...if my boyfriend cheats..the least he could do is bring me her beer... and maybe some of her weed. let by gones be by gones.
5:14
A dude cheating on his girlfriend is a lot worse than a girl flashing a smile and showing some cleavage so guys buy her drinks. I mean, that is still pretty bad if she has a boyfriend (the blow is softened if she takes half the drinks back to her boyfriend though), but conversation is innocent if it leads nowhere.
and again to all you men out there that think this acceptable behavior to treat women like this.....I hope that you have a daughter some day and she finds a man as classy as you and to be treated just like her daddy treated all the women in his life.......because men like you deserve the worst.
hah. sorry. girl here and I think this is hilarious. (nope not a lesbian, fat chick, drunk, or a slut.. but thaNks for trying girls;)). it's ok.. we all found it funny.. cause it is.. if were gonna get all self righteous then none of us would be members of the drunk texts from last night website lol...\n m
for those of you that think this isnt true... im from the 949 as well dont doubt it for one second.
i'd be disgusted, but both girls probably deserved it anyway.
idk whats worse, the fact that u fucked ur girl while she was pmsing or the fact that u cheated on her and didnt even get sex out of it. that story shouldve probably been kept to yourself and not used as a brag story in any way.
All of the people wishing herpes on this guy from the first girl seem to forget that any STD he has would have been passed on to his girlfriend during the bj..
this story would be awesome if the girl the next day was not his girlfriend, just some random girl. doing that to your girlfriend is fucked up, but the fact that they were separated the night before might mean she was cheating on him too (hopefully).
6:37
What exactly can you do, career-wise, with a religious studies degree? I've always wondered why people spend their tuition on majors that open up extremely few career options, like religion, philosophy or art history.
Seeing such wonderful representations of my gender really helps me to empathize with the likes of RuPaul. Not that I'd go that far, but I can understand the appeal.
i'm gonna have to agree with 5:59, why's everyone hating on Coors ? i didn't realize everyone who came to this site was a beer connoisseur - a cold beer is a cold beer
Well in one day I slept with 3 girls one that night one that morning and my gf later that afternoon. So I. Ant really hate but I did change and ended up getting married and now having a baby. People can change with Gods help
7:16 is an idiot. Like people have sex with people for their intellect only. Dumbass. I promise your wife is smarter than you. Which how low she thinks of herself huh?
well im an 18 yr old high school graduate and i didnt think its so bad. life is short and sex is awesome. i have a 23 yr old bf but have blown the guy im interning for this summer wjo is married and i have some other guys do me and cum in me. feels good and my bf still hookups the best with me
200 it's YOUR* autograph.
and i'm a girl and think this guy is epic. not to even mention the fact why would a chick give a guy head as soon as he walks in the door, wtf? and most chicks are stupid fucking whores anyways so she probably deserves it. he probably only got head cause she was fucking some dude last night too. :)
to all the women here who "think this is hilarious": you are clearly just trying to get attention from the loser guys who post on texts on this website. get off your (most likely fat) ass and go outside and meet REAL men. men that will respect you the way you deserve to be respected. and PLEASE, for the love of womankind, find some self-respect in the process
there are 3 p*ssies in this txt. the 2 girls and the guy who drinks coors light
lolz
and let people major in whatever they wanna major man, who cares, it has nothing to do with you...I'm majoring in
FA LA LA LA LA LAAAAA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAA
7:27pm#1
Wtf are you even talking about? "stupid to the point of getting away with something"? Who said anything about that? Sex can occur before you get to know someone and can be great. You're talking about making love, which has nothing to do with anything being discussed here. Cute though, I'm sure all the teenage ladies on this site will call you a "Real man" soon enough.
Don't blame women for you being an asshole. The idea that you were a "nice guy" and then became an asshole is insane. You're either nice or you're not. The fact of the matter is, the women you get now don't "like" assholes. They don't like anyone because they have no self-esteem. They're not with you because of you being so cool. They're with you because they don't believe they deserve anything better.
why are people hating on coors light...its the best cheap beer there is...not to mention it doesnt spill cus of the vented wide mouth cans and it tells you when its cold enough to drink...wtf else do you want from beer???
6:07 - right after it came out of her ass...
I also hope he went home with something more then the Coors... Like Syphilis, or Gonorrhea... so she can at least cure herself of your nasty diseases!
so many self righteous fucks in this world. So the kid went and got some poon, then got a blow-J from his girlfriend. Its college, get over it. Not a big fucking deal.
Submitted by
brett_usarmy
on Mar 27, 10 at 10:49am
8:44...why are you so mad at 8:42...i think its funny...seriously...what 8:08 said..."where is the love?" this is ridiculous that everyone is so mad...like this is supposed to be a funny site...chill the fuck out
6:58 what's wrong with you, looking back at the people i know who told me they got 20ish on their ACTs in high school they are obviously not very intelligent in normal conversation and the second you got away from activity-based time together i'd just lose my mind, do you just keep him around for the dick or something
I hope for your sake they did have Herpes, then you can Lie, Deny and make counter accusations. " I didnt do anything, I didnt have Herpes till YOU gave them to me!"
I think this guy is lying...hes really totally inlove with his gf..but hes a fucking coward and wants to look good to his friends and lies about getting with other girls..
We're not all like that. And thankfully not all women will allow themselves to be treated in such a disgusting manner once they're made aware of it. It's not ours to judge. But it is a sad lose-lose-lose situation in my book.
Why do some people think this guy is a god? if it was a girl that sent a text about having sex with a guy in a relationship, she's automatically called a slut or whore, but it's ok for a guy to do that? goes both ways i think..
really, 5:07? you want your boyfriend to cheat on you and bring you presents? wait until he brings you the girls thong after she wore it.
how insecure are you?
Coors light? I don't even use that skank juice when I use a turkey baster to inject beer up my asshole. This cheap-ass must be from Africa or a similarly impoverished shithole.
im a girl and found this funny cuz i'm a real "guys girl" who angles for their approval by showing support for their idiocy and have low self-worth. :/
funny thing is, if youre cheating on your girlfriend that much, its a pretty safe bet that the dude shes fucking on the side left her house right before you got there. she probably kissed you with the same lips she sucked his d with. karmas a bitch =)
4:44pm fuck off. not all women are whores, d-bag. i've never cheated on any guy i've dated.
5:59, coors light is NOT the cheapest beer, moron, and it tastes like shit. you want cheap? how about busch lite? or icehouse?
7:16pm, FINALLY A REAL MAN!
hahahaha wow after all the women who stand up for the other cheating skanks that appear on this website...i dont even need to finish that...agreed with 5:24, you chicks say you dont want an asshole, but good guys see girls go after the assholes instead of good guys, hence why we just dont give a flying fuck anymore and just act like raging assholes, cuz it gets the girl...and ladies, i can honestly say you brought this upon yourselves
4:08
Because he's scared of being alone! All the fucking douche bags that do that shit want to fuck anything that walks but at the end of the day they still keep that one around to take care of them when their sick and make them feel important because they have NO confidence under the surface. Seriously, any woman with a man that cheats needs to understand she's being used basically as a surrogate mom!
PLEASE tell me his girlfriend has read this and worked it out!
ORRR... the reason she gave him head (only and immediately) was because she was distracting while her random guy snuck out of her bathroom, and, because she has "standards", she didn't want to have full sex until she'd showered the last guy off her...
I was just thinking the same thing, 4:50-2. Did this guy just skip mentioning the shower? Otherwise, his gf would have to have no sense of taste whatsoever for this to be legit.
WHy is everybody so upset??? Is it a problem that he posted it? The guy is such a duche but yet his girl deserves better? Nah, she has wat she deserves, because obviously its pleasurable for her too. Its bs wen ppl go off on guys and not girls.
(And Im a girl by the way)
you're not going to think it was the BEST day ever when your gf catches some shit from your infected dick, then you go to suck her snatch and get it all over your mouth, and have to walk around with genital warts on your mouth.... fucking douche
girls are stupid they deserve to be cheated on for two reason A. eve ate the apple in eden and B. male is the superior sex. you are all sad becasue this genuine person is living the dream and you hate seeing others succede
who the hell do you think you are, jon lajoie?\n\n"women are stupid and i don't respect them. that's right i just have sex with them. show me your genitals, your genitals. show me your genitals, genitalia!"
Why would you hope the dude catches the HIV or herpes? Clearly he'd just run around giving it to other people.
Besides, his gf was probly sucking some other dude's cock before he got there and was just stoked about the free beer.
Now just calm the fuck down.
5:17...it does not take having been cheated on in the past to think this guy, despite the unlikeliness of his text, is a huge asshole.
and yes, i'm sure #1 on god's agenda is smiting those he "does not love" with cheating boyfriends.
come on, she had to smell the pussy on his dick... the girlfriend has to know he cheats. dude is still dirty. no reason to have a girlfriend if you're just going to fuck around. so much wasted energy.
I'm a chick and if a guy friend told me this story I'd give him a high five and buy him better beer. lol. And I don't have to worry about my man cheating cuz I know how to keep him satisfied. =)
beause 6:47, people's lives depend on what happens in debates on tfln...either way, the shit happened, most of these people are probably women who have been cheated on, life goes on...
you discusting fucking pig i hope you rott in hell . if i knew you in person i would first i would trick you into going to my place for "sex" i would have your girlfriend waiting there for you and then i would chuck a bucket of beer on you and cover you in flour take pepper spray and kick you in the balls and then take a video and post it on you tube and show everyone and then see how cool you thought you were lol
I suppose like every other girl, I don't understand....you know this douche bag would be the one bragging about shit like this to his friends and then begging his girl to be merciful when she's leaving him. So many people give up good gf and bfs because they think cheating makes them more desirable. I suppose whatever ups your ego man.
women are attracted to guys like this, cause they love dbags. if women didnt love dbags, there would be many less dbags.
but women want a dbag on the outside and a nice guy on the inside. doesn't happen.
i used to be a nice guy, now im a dbag. women like me a lot more. dont blame the assholes, blame the bitches that spawned the assholes.
wow Lol I'm a girl && I think this is funny; hope u had fun Kidd..&& also who the fuck cares way kind of beer he got it was free! But newayy jus hope u didn't get herpes
hey 727 dont go bringing icehouse into this, thats just crazy talk.
Anything cheaper than bud lite or coors lite and you shouldn't be messing around online, you should be out earning more money.
Wow! What a great day! And why would he text his friend...then I showered, made a sandwich....And its not his fault that the girl had coors light! but hey its free! WIN!
it really really makes me disappointed that people, mainly boys, are applauding & defending this pathetic, selfish excuse for a man - who feels the need to disrespect his girlfriend and then brag about it to his friends to justify himself as a "real man" or a "player".
It's depressing that the American man defends this awful behavior.
July 8, 2009 12:46AM
american men, women, and most relationships are depressing, woman!
Nice Anchorman quote, 6:58. Anyhow, this guy is a dick. Ladies: if you want a man to respect you... don't fuck him. Not right away, anyhow. I never could understand why girls get drunk around horny douche-bag-guys, anyway. You'll just wind up being the butt of a joke or three and potentially the proud new owner of an STD.
No, people don't have sex with others for their intellect only. However, the idea of sex with someone you see as stupid to the point of getting away with something is wrong. There should be a level of equity between partners. Without it, you really don't get the full range of what sex can create on all manner of levels.
ew trasshy, i'd feel bad for the gf but chances are this isn't his only dbag behavior sooo I guess you can't be surprised just chuck him and cut the fat....
"I'm a chick and if a guy friend told me this story I'd give him a high five and buy him better beer. lol. And I don't have to worry about my man cheating cuz I know how to keep him satisfied. =)
July 2, 2009 11:00PM"
---- slut
Hahaha let's see he fucked HIS girl twice and got some dome and he's a pig? Hahahahah people are retarded. Don't you know u shud ne having a boring relationship and snuggling and cuddling 24/7 u pig!
You're an ignorant bastard. That's not even funny. I hope you realize that you will never find a quality woman to spend the rest of your life with if you continue this behavior. So have a happy life fucking girls who are trash.
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