just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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