I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
as a side note pls kill me
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize