you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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