God, you're like boner-b-gone
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I touched a dick in church today
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