Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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