I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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