Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
