I think my vagina is haunted
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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