i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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