I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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