i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
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I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
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Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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