he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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