Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize