I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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