At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
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Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
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My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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