I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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