she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize