he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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