Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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