I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize