like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
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Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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