I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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