But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
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Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
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Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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