Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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