and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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