Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
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when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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