She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize