Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
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I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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