Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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