and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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