If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
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I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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