hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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