2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
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I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
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There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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